


Two is company, three is a crowd

by grossalien



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Bottom Eric Cartman, Cuckolding, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Top Kyle Broflovski, Top Leopold "Butters" Stotch, established relationship kyman, kyle is cucked, there's no cheating kyle is just deranged, they're 18
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:20:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28947321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grossalien/pseuds/grossalien
Summary: Kyle never thought that when he'd open up about dating Cartman his problem would be Butters. Now he has to solve it.
Relationships: Eric Cartman/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman
Comments: 14
Kudos: 70





	1. Nothing is perfect

When Kyle finally told his friends and family that he was dating Cartman, he expected for an outrage to happen. He anticipated all the headaches he would get from explaining people that not only he was gay but that, of all people, he was into Eric goddamn Cartman. He imagined his friends giving him confused looks that he was going out with the person behind most of his traumas and nightmares. He pictured his family staging an intervention and sending him away, not because he was gay but because he had feelings for one of the biggest douchest to ever grace mankind. He was prepared for all of it. And more.

What he wasn’t prepared for, was for everyone to accept it so easily.

Stan seemed puzzled at first though he never told Kyle anything and before the latter noticed, he was completely fine with it. Kenny had giggled a little and mumbled something of the likes of ‘Is that so?’ in amusement. Butters smiled warmly, as if he already knew all along, which probably was the case considering he was Cartman’s sort of confidant. Craig had barely reacted when he overheard it, then Clyde mumbled something to him and they both looked at Kyle with blank faces. Tweek screeched an almost enthusiastic ‘Oh!’ and then proceeded to congratulate him awkwardly (for what?). Token only muttered ‘Good luck’ and patted his arm. Jimmy raised his eyebrow skeptically for a few seconds and then made a rather incomprehensible joke. Timmy seemed really glad about it. 

His mom was surprisingly supportive about the whole thing, holding his hand and saying she would always support him in his happiness. His dad made some half assed comment such as ‘whatever makes you happy son’ and then smiled at him. Ike, being the smartass prepubescent he was, replied with ‘I already knew, Kyle.’ while rolling his eyes. 

He wasn’t quite sure how to feel about it. How come no one seemed really surprised about it? Had it been this obvious all along? Was that a good thing actually? The only people that reacted pretty much the way he was expecting were the girls. They started looking at him like he was some walking infection. In other words, as if he was an extension of Cartman. He supposed that was fair. His...boyfriend had been quite shitty to them during most of his school life. The only one that acted a bit differently was Heidi, sometimes Kyle would find her giving him long stares. Eventually he found a note in his locker that said ‘I hope you two find happiness together’ without a name, only a little flower in the bottom right corner. It didn’t take a genius to solve the puzzle. Maybe one day he’d thank her.

So, all around, his coming out had gone fairly well. It was almost too good to be true.

There was one thing, though…

___________________________________________________________________________

Holding cotton candy with one hand and holding Kyle’s hand with the other, Cartman moved his head closer to the window. “Check it out, Kyle! We’re at the top right now! You can see the entire town from here.” He commented excitedly. “I can totally see Kenny’s shitty house from here!” He laughed grossly. 

“Yeah it’s...nice.” Kyle wanted to sound as into it as his boyfriend was, however, ferris wheels weren’t all that amazing to him. Sure, it was cool that South Park finally had a permanent one but he had no idea Cartman liked them so much. However, there was a bigger problem than that.

“What is it, Kyle?” The brunette asked, taking a bite of cotton candy. “You don’t look too happy.” He vocalized while munching. 

“Well,” Kyle tried to explain, albeit slightly uncomfortable. “This is cool and everything but…” He pointed to the person in the seat in front of them. “Why is he here?” 

Cartman’s eyes followed where he was pointing, landing on Butters, who was smiling and seemed to be completely unaware of the cause of Kyle’s discomfort. 

___________________________________________________________________________

Cartman and Kyle walked into the darkness of the former’s room, kissing and touching each other. Recently, Liane had rearranged the place at her son’s request and the bed was right by the entrance now. They plopped on it gracelessly and Kyle removed his shirt to throw it away on the floor. He resumed the kissing while he felt up Cartman’s chest under his shirt. His lover fondled his bulge, whispering in his ear. “Turn on the light, I wanna see your face.”

With an impatient huff, Kyle put one knee on the bed and felt the wall with his hand, searching the light switch. After a few seconds of frustration, he found it and hit on it, lighting up the room at once. And that’s when he saw there was a figure sitting by Cartman’s desk chair. 

With a yelp, Kyle stood up. “What are you doing here?!” He shouted in costernation.

“Huh?” Cartman sat up and turned in the direction his boyfriend was looking. “Butters?” He confusedly articulated.

The blond was nervous as he waved his hands. “I’m sorry!” He apologized hurriedly. “Eric said that today we could play Animal Crossin’ so I…” He raised his Nintendo Switch as an explanation. 

Kyle looked back at Cartman. The guy gave the declaration some thought and nodded slowly. “Oh yeah...I said that.” He accepted. 

“So you stayed here all day?!” The redhead interrogated, still yelling. “Why didn’t you go home?!”

“W-Well,” Butter began twiddling his thumbs. “Liane said I could wait for Eric so I did…”

_Pretty sure she didn’t mean the entire fucking day._ Kyle thought to himself. It was fucking 10 pm. This was plain fucking creepy. 

“A-And when you guys came in I had no time to say anything…” Butters added as if that meant anything. 

Kyle pinched the bridge of his nose, his head already starting to hurt.

___________________________________________________________________________

“Open your mouth, Kyle.”

“Cartman, please, not in public.” Kyle begged, looking around. Several students were peering at them like they were circus freaks. ”This is embarrassing.” 

“Kyle, don’t make it say it again.” The boy insisted, holding the spoon full of mashed potatoes and gravy on his right hand. “You know what’s gonna happen.”

The redhead gritted his teeth. “This is the last time I’ll want to try some of your food.” He mumbled.

“Yeah, yeah, cry me a river.” His boyfriend was unimpressed. “Now open wide.”

With half-lidded eyes, Kyle did as requested.

“Good boy.” Cartman praised him and put the spoon on his mouth. “Imagine that’s my dick.” He said with a smirk.

Wincing, the young man began chewing. After a while, the flavor spread through his mouth. “It’s good!” He remarked after swallowing, unable to cover the surprised tone in his voice. 

“See?” The brunette grinned. “Told you I’m getting good.” He shoved mouthfuls of food into his mouth. “Colonel Sanders hasn’t shit on me.” He proclaimed.

“As long as that makes you eat less KFC…” 

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of a tray hitting their table. 

“Hey fellas, what are you up to?” Butters greeted them as he sat in front of them, smiling as ever.

“We’re...eating.” Kyle informed, curtly. 

“Yeah, I just made Kyle try my special mashed potatoes with gravy.” Cartman commented. “He loved it.”

“Oh!” Butters eyed Cartman’s plate with curiosity. “Can I have some?”

“Wait a seco-”

“No way, Butters!” His boyfriend appeared annoyed by the question. “I’m fucking hungry.” He declared and kept eating. 

Not the way Kyle would’ve gone about it yet acceptable, nevertheless. He guessed he could always count on Cartman’s pitless stomach to mark the limits for him.

“Aw…” The blond was disappointed. “Well, that’s okay!” He easily recovered his bright mood and bit his sandwich. 

Kyle’s jaw fell open. Did he seriously come all the way to the table that had only Cartman and him, only to eat with them? 

The guy noticed his stare while he was sipping on his orange juice box and smiled at him. “Hm?” He tilted his head.

No way the guy could be this dense, could he? 

___________________________________________________________________________

“Cartman, we need to talk.” Kyle announced, hands steepled.

“Now? We’re already late to Stan’s” Cartman protested, adjusting his red bomber jacket and looking at the mirror.

“Yes, now.” The other insisted, dryly.

His boyfriend detected the graveness in his voice and turned around, his features softening. “Are you okay, babe?”

Despite the urgency of the matter, Kyle couldn’t help noticing how handsome his boyfriend looked in that attire. 

_Focus, Kyle._

“It’s about Butters.” He explained.

The boy puffed out, eyes returning to the mirror. “Ah, it’s just Butters. Don’t sound so serious, I thought something happened.”

“It is serious.” The guy was going to be at Stan’s, after all.

Cartman chuckled, fixing his bangs. “How?”

“He keeps tagging with us, for starters.” Kyle pointed out.

“You mean that one date? He wanted to go to the amusement park too so whatever.” Cartman justified, looking at his visage from different angles. 

“Yes although that’s not the only time-”

“Don’t tell me you’re still pissed about the Animal Crossing thing. Come on, it was a mistake!” The brunette looked at him, exasperated.

“What about the other day at lunch?” Kyle alluded.

“That was just-”

Counting with his fingers, Kyle listed. “And that time at the movies, and at the school gym, the mall and-” 

“Okay, okay! I can tell him off if you want?” Cartman exclaimed. “I mean I don’t care, it’s Butters so.”

“No, that’s not the point.” The redhead grumbled, looking away.

“Then what is?” His lover pressed, walking towards him.

“I don’t know.” Kyle mumbled, still averting the other’s gaze. 

“Kyle…” Cartman softly pronounced his name as he took a hold of his hand. “You don’t have to feel threatened. Butters is like...a dog.” 

“I’m not…” The aforementioned answered, looking at their intertwined hands. “It’s just…”

“Hey,” His boyfriend called him, lifting his chin. “No one’s getting between us, ever. Got that?” Cartman’s smile was warm but his brown eyes were piercing. His expression would look intimidating to anyone.

Except for the person he was talking to. 

Kyle nodded heavily. “Yeah.” He said with a forced smile.

“C’me here.” Cartman purred as he bent over. Their lips touched into a short yet loving kiss. Then they simply gazed at each other in silence. “Wanna skip Stan’s thing and stay here instead?” The boy proposed, giving him a suggestive look. 

With a snicker, Kyle shook his head and stood up. “Let’s go.”

His partner whined in mild disappointment and followed him. 

___________________________________________________________________________

Stan had invited his friends to drink at his house that Friday. No parents or Shelly for the night. Somehow, Butters had ended finding out about it so he got included too. After all, the guy was like the honorary member of their group.

As soon as they crossed the door, Kenny whistled at them. “The lovebirds arrived!” He exclaimed. “Bet you were fucking like rabbits and that’s why you’re later.” The blond teased.

“Psh. I wish!” Cartman sighed. 

Kyle rolled his eyes and turned to Stan, walking behind him. “Need help with something?” 

“No, we’re good!” His friend reassured him. “We already started drinking a bit, haha.” He added.

Stan guided them to the yard where they saw a table with a handful of bottles in it already. Last time Kyle came, it wasn’t there so he assumed the host had moved it for the occasion. In addition, Butters was already sitting in it.

“Oh, hey fellas!” He greeted them cheerfully. 

With way less enthusiasm, Kyle waved his hand and Cartman vocalized a “‘Sup” before they both took their places. Due to the unfortunate seating arrangement, Kyle ended somehow between Stan and Kenny while Cartman was right next to Butters, in front of him. The redhead took a deep breath, not wanting to be a paranoid nut. Cartman was right, no one was getting between them, ever. And who the hell was Butters anyway? He hardly qualified as competition to Kyle.

What he didn’t take in account though, was Butters weakness to alcohol. He wasn’t a lightweight, no, he could take a lot of liquor and, in addition, he also loved drinking...a lot. And the more he drank, the less inhibited he became. Kyle wanted to pay attention so badly to whatever Stan and Kenny were saying to him but Butters had gone from fidgeting to get all touchy feely with his boyfriend in less than an hour. Everyone knew Butters was kind of a weirdo so they didn’t mind him, nonetheless, Kyle couldn’t stay calm. A hug or two was fine, however, he kept slinging his goddamn arm over Cartman’s shoulder and getting his face too damn close for it to be appropriate. He didn’t want to say something and look like the possessive boyfriend but why was Cartman so completely normal about this? Push him away already!

“So I was like, Karen, since when do you play GTA? And she said ‘Oh, all my girlfriends play it.’” Kenny narrated, completely amazed. “Can you believe that? I was gonna get her Animal Crossing for her birthday…”

“Isn’t Animal Crossing for kids?” Stan commented, emptying his third beer. 

“What? No, dude, I _love_ Animal Crossing!” Kenny protested. “I haven’t played the new game yet but-”

“I love Animal Crossin’ too!” Butters intervened. “Eric and I visit each other’s islands all the time!” He continued. “Eric’s island is so cool!”

Cartman drank silently. “Shut up, Butters.” He mumbled against the glass.

“It’s true, though!” The clingy blond reiterated. 

“Oh yeah?” Kenny seemed suddenly interested. “How is it?” He inquired with a smirk, resting his face on his hand. 

“He has a lot of toys and drawings! There’s one of Mr Kitty in the-”

“Butters!” Cartman shouted while he put down his glass noisily. 

“Oh!” The aforementioned covered his mouth comically, straightening up from jumpiness. “I wasn’t supposed to say that!”

Kenny chuckled and Kyle looked at Stan, who seemed almost as lost as him. Islands? What islands? And why was it a secret?

“Eric is so cute..:” Butters resumed, unbothered. “He acts like a meanie yet deep down…”

Some kind of alarm went off in Kyle’s head. His grip tightened around his glass. His best friend must’ve noticed because he suddenly went “You’re drinking too much, Butters.”

“Aw but I’m having so much fun!” The boy effusively affirmed and, as if to illustrate his words, hugged Cartman. “Drinking is great…” He murmured, head resting on Cartman’s shoulders.

“Butters, quit it!” The brunette complained, trying to shake him off. His cheeks were pink, not from the contact but from the alcohol, yet the sight made Kyle’s stomach twist into a knot. 

“Noo…” Butters moaned, holding onto Cartman while the latter was pushing his face away. “You’re soft like a pillow…”

“Haha, Butters, you wanna sleep?” Kenny asked, highly entertained by the pathetic spectacle the drunkard was giving. 

“Yes…” The other answered, suddenly drowsy even though he still was clinging to Cartman. “With...Eric…” He muttered. 

The shameless declaration made Kyle stand up at once, chair scraping against the floor. 4 eyes of him set on him with Butters being completely unaware of the gravity of his words.

“He probably meant sleep on Cartman.” Kenny quickly elucidated, trying to alleviate the tension. “...’cause he said he’s soft and all that. Right?” He looked at Stan for help. 

“Y-Yeah!” Stan confirmed, smiling at Kyle with apprehensiveness. “He’s just had too much to drink. Let’s get him upstairs.” He eyed at Kenny. 

“Totally!” The blond agreed, both standing up to get Butters. 

Slowly, Kyle sat down, distrustful although relieved by his friends’ help. 

“Come on, Butters, let’s go.” Stan said as he grabbed him by the arm. 

“Already?” Butters stared at the black haired boy with dissatisfaction and, despite that, accepted it just as easily. “Okay, let me say goodbye first!” He requested and turned to hold Cartman’s face between his hands.

What the hell was he going to do now?

“Goodnight, Eric!” He blurted and planted an affectionate kiss on Cartman’s lips. 

Everyone stared in shock and Kyle watched his boyfriend’s eyes go wide, imagining he most likely looked the same, with a dash of lividness. 

“Woah, buddy.” Kenny firmly grabbed Butters by the shoulders, separating him from Cartman. “Let’s get you upstairs.”

“Heheh...told you guys he’s really cute…” The dumb fuck giggled as Stan and Kenny carried him away. Kyle thought that if looks could kill, Butters would already be a goner. Actually, if murder was legal-

“Kenny better remember this next time he invites him.” Cartman scoffed and wiped his lips. “Next time, it could be any of you.” 

In disbelief, Kyle stared at Cartman for a moment, before opening his mouth. “No, it wouldn’t.”

Cartman raised an eyebrow. “You think he’s gonna get better?”

“That’s not what I mean.” Kyle replied, impassive. “It’s not about the alcohol. It’s about you.”

After a pause, the brunette waved his hand dismissively. “Come on, Kyle, don’t start with that agai-”

“Are you still gonna deny it after he kissed you?” Kyle cut in, somber. 

There was a dangerous silence and Cartman felt it. “We just did that stuff sometimes as kids!” He explained, jittery. “It doesn’t mean anythi-”

“You did what?” The other interjected, his voice still devoid of emotion.

Cornered, Cartman swallowed heavily. He was in quicksand now. Every other word could do nothing except sink him further, however, not answering would be infinitely worse. “When we were kids...as practice...” He clarified, clearly distressed.

Practice? What stupid, corny, pathetically predictable movie did this fat ass think he was in? Kissing your buddy as practice? Actually, no, kissing your creepy minion as practice? And assume it won’t affect your friendship with said creepy shit? 

Something about his face must’ve given away his thoughts because Cartman insisted “But I swear it was nothing, Kyle! It was years ago! He probably got confused with that time...he’s totally that stupid, I mean...”

Kyle merely hummed in response, inexpressive. 

In a desperate last attempt, his partner shouted. “Just ask Butters! It’s definitely a misunderstanding!”

“I will.” The redhead asserted. “And I better not find out you told him what to say.” He gave Cartman a sharp stare.

___________________________________________________________________________

Lying in his bed, Kyle stared at the ceiling in frustration. He was going to speak Butters frankly. He was going to ask him what the hell was going on with Cartman and him. He was going to clear out the doubt that had been haunting him for quite a few weeks now. 

What he wasn’t sure, though, was what to do in case Butters admitted to being into Cartman. So it was out in the air, then what? Were they going to become rivals or something? Not that he was even scared of Cartman leaving him for that guy, however, the idea of Butters roaming around was uncomfortable. He didn’t need the idiot wandering, waiting for his chance, trying to shoot his shot when Kyle and Cartman had arguments or cross the line when he felt brave enough to do so. He needed to take care of it for good. The question was how.

The bell rang as if trying to awake Kyle from his ruminating. He eyed his phone. 12:30 exactly. At least the boy was punctual. 

“I’ll get that!” He shouted as he got up from his bed. The last thing he wanted was to have to explain to his parents why he invited the Stotchs’ son home. Swiftly, he made his way down the stairs and opened the door unceremoniously. A ridiculously bright smile was awaiting for him.

“Hey, Kyle!” Butters greeted him, a bit too loud to be normal.

“Hey, Butters.” Kyle greeted back, miles away less enthusiastic. “Come on in.”

The guest did as requested, his expression unchanged.

“Thanks for coming.” Kyle expressed, turning his back on him. “Let’s go to my room.” He spoke before climbing the stairs.

“Okay!” He heard Butters’ voice behind him. Guy was acting like this was a picnic. 

He couldn’t remember the last time the blond was at his place, probably middle school? Stan and Cartman’s house were the most common spots for their group. Even to hang with his boyfriend, Kyle tended to go to his place rather than invite him over. 

When Butters entered his room, Kyle closed the door. Following this, he walked to his desk chair and sat, pointing to the bed for Butters to sit in. The whole thing almost felt too formal yet the truth was that Kyle wasn’t really used to hanging with the kid, one on one. His three friends were all decidedly closer to Butters than he was and the only thing they really had in common was…

“Do you know why I wanted to talk?” Kyle opened the conversation.

“Um, is it about the other night?” Butters guessed. “I-I don’t really remember but Kenny told me...I’m so sorry, Kyle-”

“It’s about Cartman.” Kyle specified, impatient.

Butters raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Eric? What about him?”

“How do you feel about him?” The other posed the question, not willing to beat around the bush. “Be honest.”

“W-What do you mean? Eric is my friend and I care about him.” Butters replied, tilting his head.

“No, I mean…” Kyle held his head in his hands. “What I’m saying is,” He raised his head to stare into the confused blue eyes. “Do you have feelings for him?”

Jolting, Butters opened and closed his mouth several times like a fish. “F-Feelings…?”

“Are you into my boyfriend, Butters.” Kyle pressed, barely containing himself.

The klutz made the exact same face characters in movies do when they get shot. His gaze fell to his feet. “I am...” He confessed, eyes still on the ground.

Despite that being exactly what Kyle suspected, he couldn’t help being thrown off by how quickly it took for the other to admit it. No resistance, only earnestness. He must love Cartman a lot. Not exactly what Kyle wanted to hear.

“Do you plan on getting between us?” The host asked, wanting to know what exactly he was dealing with. “Should I be worried?”

“N-No, no, no!” Butters shook his head vehemently. “I would never! I know Eric is happy with you, I just…” He smiled sadly. “I just want to be with him…”

A pang of pity was felt in Kyle’s chest. Maybe he should give him a break- wait, no, this little bastard had talked about wanting to fuck his boyfriend and went as far as to kiss him boyfriend in front of Kyle. He was unpredictable and dangerous. He had to be dealt with and quickly. 

An idea lit in his head like a bulb. “Since when?” Kyle continued.

Wordlessly, Butters began twiddling his thumbs, his trademark nervous gesture. 

“A while then.” Kyle assumed. “Was it ever since you guys kissed…” He grimaced. “As practice?” 

Blush spread all over Butters’ cheeks. “Wah! H-How do you know about that?! I mean, we didn’t! We just-” He looked to the sides as if there was some camera hidden in the room.

“Cartman told me.” The boy stated in an obvious tone. “Calm down, I’m not mad.” That was partially true, he had certainly been mad when he found out. He simply had accepted it by this moment. “What else did you guys do?” He pursued the interrogation, determined. 

“H-Huh?” Butters’ cheeks were turning crimson now. 

“Did you makeout? Did you touch him?” Kyle leaned in. “Did he suck you off?” He drawled almost menacingly.

Involuntarily, the blond closed his legs. “N-No...Eric was never interested in doing anything else…” He let out before realizing his mistake. “I-I mean, me either!”

The slip didn’t impress Kyle in the slightest. He glared at Butters’ crotch to confirm his suspicions. Of course he was pitching a damn tent already. Of fucking course.

So, be as it may, the facts were. 1. Butters had been in love with Cartman for a long time. 2. They had smooched before. 3. To top it all, he was extremely horny for him as well.

It really wasn’t looking good for Kyle. If anything, he had been sure until recently that, at least, he didn’t have to worry about someone else wanting to snatch Cartman away from him. And yet here he was, already dealing with an opponent. Maybe he was underestimating his boyfriend’s appeal.

Or maybe Butters and him needed some serious psychiatric help.

Wait.

“Butters, are you a virgin?” The redhead pried, examining his friend...ish. 

“W-Why are you askin’ me all this, Kyle?!” Butters stood up as his voice raised in volume too. “I-I don't’ like this game! What are you plannin’?!” He yelled. 

Way to overreact. Although, to be fair, he might’ve reacted the same way if he was in his shoes. So, most likely a virgin. In fact, judging by his reactions and general behavior since he had known the blond, he surely hadn’t gotten farther than a few pecks with anyone. Irritatingly, Kyle had been in his shoes barely half a year ago. However, back to the point, he had an idea of how to proceed now.

“Butters!” He called the other’s name with severity, the way you do when your dog is misbehaving. Expectedly, the kid understood and sat back down, still agitated. While satisfied with the result, Kyle was worried his lover was rubbing off on him. 

“Let’s make a deal.” The boy proposed with a smirk, fairly sure his offer was not to be rejected. 

___________________________________________________________________________

“Y-You said what?!” Cartman, sitting on his purple bean bag sofa, stared at him with big, round, incredulous eyes. 

“And then he will calm down.” Kyle proudly concluded. “So it’s all settled.”

“Jesus.” Cartman uttered, highly impressed. “You’re a fucking monster, Kyle Broflovski.” 

“Oh, shut up.” The other rolled his eyes. “You think I forgot about that time you suggested a threesome with Butters?” He retorted. 

“Well, yeah!” Cartman exclaimed. “But to go from that to pimping your boyfriend to the guy you’re jealous of is-”

“I’m not jealous of Butters!” Kyle quickly refuted, standing up. Maybe a bit too quickly. “And I’m not pimping you.” He corrected as he fell back on the bed. “It’s purely a one time thing.”

“That’s your main concern?” The brunette noted with a snicker. “Jeez, don’t think that hard of my feelings!”

Humorless, Kyle glared at him dead in the eye. “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” He riposted. 

“Are you kidding me? I’m totally down!” His lover declared. “I just can’t believe you didn’t even ask me.” He chuckled, delighted by the situation.

“Please!” Kyle spat. “You totally had a fixation with the poor guy back then!” 

“Tsk.” Cartman clicked his tongue, suddenly sulky. “Whatever.”

They stayed quiet, each thinking of Butters for entirely different reasons. After a while, Kyle dared to ask. “Aren’t you surprised he’s into you?” 

His partner seemed to consider it. “I think Butters is like those losers that fall in love with the first girl that’s nice to them.” He explained. 

“Except you weren’t actually nice to him.” Kyle rebutted. “You were the worst to him.” He added, reminiscing of all the awful pranks and schemes his boyfriend made the blond go through. 

Cool as air, Cartman shrugged. “Yeah but I paid attention to him when no one else did. And we’ve been sorta friends ever since.” He paused. “I think it’s a whim at best.”

Kyle sneered. “Right, ‘cause who in their right mind would love an asshole like you.” He taunted.

The other scoffed, standing up. “You love my asshole, douchebag.” He snapped back and walked towards Kyle.

With a merry laugh, Kyle kept the banter. “You’re such a dick.” He asseverated as Cartman’s arms wrapped around his neck. 

“You love my dick.” Cartman gloated smugly while looking down at his lover. 

“I really, really don’t.” Kyle contradicted him, smiling. 

“Well that’s your loss!” Cartman retalied and rapidly grabbed Kyle’s left hand to shove it against his crotch. “Maybe if you touched it…” 

“Agh! No, stop!” The redhead tried to pull back, laughing. “Gross!”

His boyfriend struggled with him. “Stop...being...afraid...of my...holy...wiener!” He grunted, trying to keep Kyle’s hand in place. 

“I’m not afraid it’s just stupid-looking!” Kyle attempted to defend himself. 

Cartman suddenly let go, grimacing as if he was disgusted to touch him . “Swear to god, Kyle. You behave like such a hetero sometimes.” He shook his head in disappointment. 

“Not because it’s a dick!” Kyle clarified. “It’s because yours is…” Mid formulating the sentence he realized he had stepped into a trap. Cartman hated hearing about how his dick was smaller than an average. And that was being kind. “Uh…”

Seemingly hurt, the other winced before his expression changed into one of mischief. Kyle felt sudden apprehension. “That reminds me! When I measured our dicks back then, Butters’ was pretty big.” He commented, pensive.

At once, Kyle’s throat went dry. “He does…?” He hoarsely managed. 

“Oh yeah.” Cartman nodded. “Guess I’ll find out if he still does, huh?” The boy left the question hanging in the air and walked away. “I’m gonna get some Cheetos.” He announced and disappeared through the door. 

Kyle wasn’t naive enough not to know his partner was teasing him, yet, at the same time, a certain uneasiness set itself in his stomach. Had he really made the right choice by forcing the encounter?


	2. Mistake or resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where the smut happens. If NTR isn't your thing, abandon ship right now. If not, have fun!

“Why are we doing this at my house?” Cartman inquired, stretching in his bed like a fat cat. 

His boyfriend huffed. “Because I don’t want Butters to fuck in my bed.” How messed up would it be for Kyle if everytime he tried to sleep in it he was reminded that the idiot had fucked his boyfriend in the very same place? He would have to burn the mattress. 

“You know my mom is here, right?” The brunette raised his eyebrow, sitting up.

Holding back a biting remark, Kyle exhaled. “Yeah. That’s okay.” He assured. He had some serious doubt Cartman’s mom, of all people, was going to care about people having sex in her house. Unlike his mom, she already had an idea that Kyle and her son didn’t spend their time together only chatting. Actually, Sheila might be aware as well, she simply enjoyed pretending she wasn’t.

WIth scaringly perfect timing, Liane’s voice was heard from the first floor. “Sweetie, your friend Butters is here!” 

“Tell him to come up!” Cartman exclaimed just as fast.

Kyle gulped as the footsteps approached them. He might have organized the whole thing but that didn’t mean he wasn’t nervous. He was, extremely, in truth. The immovable fact that Butters was going to...

“Hey, fellas!” The blond greeted them unceremoniously. As if they were going to play board games. As if he wasn’t coming to lose his virginity at the hands of his love interest. Or, more crudely, as if he wasn’t going to fuck Eric Cartman.

“Hey.” The other two greeted him back. Butters smiled animatedly, glancing at Kyle resting against the wall and at Cartman on the bed. Deciding it was enough, he began unzipping his pants. 

“Woah, woah, wait a second, Butters!” Kyle strode to him, holding his wrists. “There’s some rules.” 

“Oh, okay…” Butters accepted, and let his hands fall to his sides, his cheeks acquiring a rose tint. Fucking animal. 

Cartman laughed in the background obnoxiously. “Of course Kyle made rules for sex!” He howled, holding his sides.

Ignoring the latter, Kyle massaged his temples. “Alright.” He cleared his throat. “So since you’re losing your virginity here, it only goes on until you come.” It was pretty cheap of him but Kyle would be damned if he made a generous deal when it came to, literally, his boyfriend’s ass. “Got it?”

Butters didn’t seem discouraged in the slightest. “Okay!” He shouted.

“You don’t need to be so loud.” Kyle muttered. “Anyway. The second rule is…” He turned and looked for his backpack on one corner. “I brought this…” He narrated while unzipping and pulling what seemed to be a blanket. “...quilt protector.” The boy stretched it in front of the other two.

The brunette tilted his head. “Wha-”

“It’s waterproof and stain resistant.” Kyle explained. “We’re putting it over your bed. Get up.” He ordered his boyfriend.

Still not quite understanding, Cartman jumped out of the bed and Kyle put the white fabric over his blue quilt. When Kyle turned around, he found them with puzzled expressions on their faces. He sighed in irritation. 

“You didn’t think I was going to let this happen without protection, did you?!” Kyle scrutinized. He wasn’t going to fuck Cartman in a bed stained with Butters’ cum. “I’m getting rid of that once this is done.” He added. “And the last thing is uh…” He averted his gaze, embarrassed. “I’m staying here.” 

His lover whistled. “Alright, it’s fucking on!” He cheered, clearly energized by Kyle’s words. “Let’s get to it then.” The guy clamored and sat back on the bed, turning to the redhead to tease. “Good old cuckoldry, huh?”

“Shut up.” Kyle hushed him. There was nothing exciting for him about this. He simply didn’t fully trust Butters not to pretend he hadn’t ejaculated when he already had. Dumbass. He was going to watch him closely now. 

Despite the checkmate, the kid wasn’t anywehre remotely shaken, if anything he seemed more resolute than ever.

Once he sat in Cartman’s desk chair, Kyle gave the heads up. “Whenever you’re ready, Butters.” He awkwardly gave start to what would undoubtedly be one of the strangest experiences of his life. 

The following silence was unsurprisingly charged, with Butters belatedly nodding and joining Cartman in the bed and Kyle watching them both. The contrast in their expressions was undoubtedly comical, with one looking completely unimpressed and the other showing the years of yearning in his face. It made Kyle feel at ease. It made him feel safe that Cartman’s Butters fetish had always been purely explorative and never anything else, even if the thought was selfish.

In slow motion, the blond brought his face closer to the brunette’s and, after an intense pause, kissed him. It was chaste and sweet and Butters cupped Cartman’s face. Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that that was his boyfriend the one Butters was kissing, Kyle might have considered the scene was cute.

As if unable to contain himself, Butters deepened the kiss as his hands lowered to grab Cartman’s shoulders rather strongly. What he lacked in experience, he compensated with passion since it was rather sloppy and Kyle was amused imagining his lover complaining later about the drool. Actually, wasn’t he grimacing into the kiss right now? Kyle had to suppress a laughter. If Butters kept up this level of performance then he really had nothing to worry about, big dick or not.

Very fumblingly, the pair laid on the bed while still kissing and Butters settled on a better position, on top of Kyle’s boyfriend. His right hand traveled underneath Cartman’s shirt and groping his right boob, prompting an almost instinctive moan from the latter. What a piece of shit. He was totally replicating Kyle’s moves from that one time he ‘accidentally saw them’. Kyle really had to wonder how accidental that was anymore.

Shamelessly, Butters proceeded to take off Cartman’s shirt before resuming the making out, currently both of his hands on the other’s chest. Fucking cheap. His fat tits were Cartman’s weakness so he was obviously way more reactive at the moment, moaning right as Butters very vulgarly stuck his clumsy stupid tongue in his mouth. The whole thing had become unfunny for Kyle pretty fast. He was starting to wonder what the hell was he on to come up with this deal. What was it again? First time with the boy of his dreams and he would stop sneaking on them? Maybe he should’ve plainly beat his ass for it. If anything, it was widely acknowledged that Butters understood things better with violence- no, no, god that was so horrible to even think about. Jesus. Kyle slapped his own cheek as reprisal.

Butters had moved on to suck Cartman’s tits vigorously. It was fucking gross, he was doing it the way newborns did to their mothers yet it got in Kyle’s nerves all the time, especially because Cartman was seemingly enjoying it, placing his hands behind Butters’ head to push him closer to his breast. If noises could make someone puke, Kyle was sure than the slurping noise Butters was doing had to be it. He was so tempted to push him over and show him how it was done. But no, he had to hold back and watch the inexperienced idiot slobber all over his favorite pair of boobs. 

“E-Eric…” The lovesick buffoon whined, raising his head to contemplate the brown eyes of his beloved before kissing him again. “Eric…” He repeated, relocating to his neck now and suckling its skin. “Eric…”

Between the slurping-spaghetti-like sound and the name calling, Kyle began to feel like he was being tested by some higher power. Or at least that’s what he wanted to believe. Given that the other option was that his own arrogance put him in a very unpleasant spot. He wasn’t really threatened by Butters, however, seeing him touch what was his was vexatious enough. Not only out of the regular jealousy couples would have for anyone that interfered between them. Kyle and Cartman had struggled so much to get where they were, to love each other openly without it metamorphosing into an existential crisis for the both of them. And Butters was so easily benefitting from all that...and Kyle had no one had to blame for that apart from himself. 

When he was done with the lovebites, Butters went back to Cartman’s torso, peppering it with kisses and moving down to where his happy trail should be, if the boy didn’t shave religiously every few days. There, he stopped, breathing shallowly against Cartman’s belly. His face was red and his hands shaky as they approached the button of his hands. 

With certain relief, Kyle realized Butters was already getting to the main act. Made sense, being a virgin and all. And in the state he was, it wasn’t going to take him long to finish. Thank God, this nightmare was going to be over soon. 

After several failed tries, Butters eventually managed to unbutton Cartman’s pants and pulled them down to his knees. Well that was going to be an uncomfortable position. Ignorant and foolish, the blond then lowered his underwear, exposing Cartman’s silly looking dick. It was hard to see from here because of its petiteness yet the member was hardened already. Far away from being disappointed, though, Butters smiled with happiness and Kyle was invaded by a sinking feeling yet again.

“I’ve always…” The boy breathed, clearly overwhelmed as his hands drew closer to the penis. “I’ve…” Trembling, he closed his fingers around it, gasping softly upon contact. “Wow…” Butters let out in a squeaky voice. 

Wait a second.

Wait a goddamn second. 

Almost as bewildered as Kyle was, Cartman raised his head to gawk at Butters in perplexity. Noticing this, the latter looked back at him. “I’ve always wanted to do this.” He confessed mellowly before abruptly shoving the dick into his mouth. 

Cartman yelped out of surprise and Kyle’s jaw metaphorically hit the floor. Before either of them could recover, Butters had already pulled the manhood out of his mouth.

“Did you like it?” He probed, both timid and starry-eyed.

Amidst his shocked state, the brunette nodded. 

Butters beamed at him. “I’m glad…” He purred.

Why the hell was he so talkative right now? It’s almost like the dumbass knew Cartman was going to be impressed with anything. Had the fucking fat ass whined to Butters about Kyle not giving him head? He really needed to have a few words with him afterwards. Fucking moron. Stupid asshole. 

The redhead didn’t exactly have a lot of time to get angry at his boyfriend because soon enough Butters was back at sucking Cartman off. Kyle had seen a lot in his lifetime, however, this really was at least top 10 most disturbing things he had seen. Yes, that was right. Butters enthusiastically sucking his lover’s tiny wiener was pretty unsettling. Although, not the worst part, no. The worst was the way Cartman was moaning over the attention with his head fallen back, what the hell. Kyle was 100% sure the dicksucking couldn’t be that good, visuals and sound considered. Had he known Cartman would behave like this...well, Kyle couldn’t say for sure he would’ve eagerly fellatio’d him...however, the fact that Butters was giving him first blowjob was irksome all the same. Not that Kyle had directly asked Cartman, nevertheless, he was pretty damn sure his partner had never received a lot of attention to his genitals. He really should’ve planned this better but how was he supposed to know that A. Cartman would complain to Butters about the oral sex situation. B. Butters would be enough of a freak to want to suck Cartman’s minuscule schlong off. 

Did he say his boyfriend moaning like a bitch in heat was the worst part? He was wrong. What was much worse was the way the fabric around his crotch was beginning to tighten. Kyle knew he shouldn’t be impressed that hearing Cartman’s moans was giving him a boner, it’s just that it was a tad bit humiliating that he wasn’t the cause of them. Not that his body gave a damn about it, though. So, now he was angered and aroused watching that the dumbest guy he knew pleasure his lover. The urge to start dealing punches was only halted by the self righteousness that defined him. Attacking Butters when Kyle was the one that put Cartman in a silver plate for him was completely below him. Not even Cartman would approve of such a dirty play. Or would he?

His inner turmoil was interrupted by the pathetic whimper his boyfriend made when he came, his body shaking from pleasure, followed by the sound of Butters swallowing almost as loudly. Of course he fucking swallowed. What an angel. Did he want a fucking cookie too?

In all honesty, Kyle didn’t know if he should be grateful it was already done or mad that his lover had ejaculated so fast. How troublesome. The last thing he wanted to hear was that Cartman was having a mad good time. It should fucking suck ass. It should be, in fact, worse for him than it was for Kyle. Except, realistically, that would never be the case.  
Cartman might not think highly of Butters yet he unquestionably found him attractive. Worse, he assumed everyone else did. Gross.

As if to confirm his thoughts, a heavily panting Cartman dragged Butters upwards to kiss him with unusual fervor and the latter, naturally, reciprocated with equal excitement. Kyle blinked in disbelief. Seriously? When the guy had his cum all over his mouth? Kyle had most certainly kissed Cartman after he sucked him off but that was different, they were in love. There was no way he’d kiss a Nobody after they were done gulping down his spunk. That was fucking gross. 

With certain haste, the brunette took off Butters’ pants with his feet, a task he was pretty skilled at by now, and wrapped his legs around the other, his hands playing with the hem of Butters’ shirt. Well wasn’t that goddamn cute. Apparently being given head had awakened something in Cartman because he suddenly was very active. How considerate and totally selfless of him. 

Sharp for a change, Butters understood the message and took off his shirt. He was slim but less skinny than Kyle had imagined. A little of sagging here and there...he clearly didn’t work out a lot. Wait, was...was Cartman grinding against him? What a...Kyle was trying really hard not to insult him, even in his head. It was proving to be rather difficult, considering that for most of his life he had resorted to doing exactly that, for way less than what he was currently witnessing. 

Politely, Butters separated himself from the heavy petting and from the bulge of his pants, Kyle could tell why, though it was disappointing. He had hoped the little fool would ejaculate prematurely, ending their deal a bit too soon, though as things were going…

A blue little bottle came out of the blond’s right pocket and Kyle gulped as the blond soaked his fingers in the liquid. However, as soon as he noticed the boy was very clearly shaking he had to hold back a snort. Okay, so what? Maybe he had gotten lucky earlier but these were the real leagues. Fingering was no joke and Butters was still a virgin. He was totally going to blow it. 

Having also perceived Butters’ reluctance, Cartman sat up. “Want help?” He offered. “I can do it myself, you know.” He remarked.

Though he knew his boyfriend was only being helpful because he hated lousy jobs Kyle couldn’t help rolling his eyes at the proposal. Let him suffer some, dumbass.

“N-No…” Butters shook his head vehemently. “I wanna do it.”

Astonished, the brunette chuckled in amusement. “Since when are you this gutsy, Butters.” He grinned.

For reasons Kyle couldn’t or want to understand, the aforementioned flushed over the comment. “D-Don’t tease me now, Eric.” He replied with a slight frown. 

A look that couldn’t be described as anything except one of genuine fondness appeared on Cartman’s face as he stared at Butters. Kyle was seriously considering punching his lover at the moment. 

After eyeing the bed for a moment, the blond pointed at the wooden headboard. “Can you lay your back against it?” He requested, tense. 

Was he for fucking real? They weren’t supposed to touch anything that wasn’t covered by the- oh god damn it all. Cartman complied and Butters positioned himself next to him with his front facing the former’s side. 

“N-Now open your legs.” The boy commanded without any ounce of confidence in his voice. 

Doing as such, Cartman smirked. “What’s next, Einstein?”

“Now…” Butters murmured. “...it’s this.” As soon as he finished the sentence, he leaned in and kissed Cartman.

It belatedly occurred to Kyle that he should’ve set a maximum amount of times the loser was allowed to smooch his partner. At his stage, he had definitely passed it, the sneaky son of a bitch. His left hand was gently caressing the inner of Cartman’s thigh, slowly working his way into the latter’s entrance. Kyle could tell when he reached it because of the brunette’s flinching. Once again, he was regretting ever coming up with this agreement. 

With one hand up Cartman’s asshole and the other cupping his face while he kissed him, Butters seemed to know what he was doing, contrary to Kyle’s expectations. He couldn’t really see a lot from where he was sitting though he could absolutely tell when his boyfriend was moaning from pleasure and when it was from displeasure and currently it was the former. How though? Wasn’t he a virgin?

“H-How do you feel?” Butters asked, softly breaking off the kiss.

Between gasps, Cartman smugly answered. “You’re...You’re not half bad…” He placed his right hand on top of the one that was fingering him. “Let me just…” He shakily inhaled. “That’s...That’s it.”

“That’s your…?” The other boy was so awestruck he couldn’t finish the question. 

Nodding, Cartman sank his arm further. “Push...harder.” He winced and a tiny whine escaped his mouth. “Yeah...like that...” The guy articulated with some effort. 

After a few more times, Butters had successfully gotten the hang of it and his lips joined Cartman’s, his right arm wrapping around the meaty neck, bringing their faces closer. The way he was unabashedly eating his boyfriend’s face made Kyle wonder if he hadn’t underestimated the nervous wreck all along. Not only that, the fingering was getting more aggressive too which brought him to the alarming fact his lover was enjoying it, judging by his earlier words. It had taken Kyle about 5 times to get decent at poking the enormous ass. Why was Butters getting a solid B- already?

Cheating? No way. Kyle might not have a huge self-esteem, nonetheless, from any angle you looked at it, going from him to Butters was unequivocally a downgrade. If Cartman was to cheat on him with someone it would have to be, like, some sexy rich guy not meekly, stupid and easily manipulated Butters. 

So what was it then? The redhead inspected Butters’ body until his eyes landed on his flat butt. Ah. He practiced. On his own ass. Talk about eager. The first time Kyle and Cartman had sex, Kyle had never fingered himself before. In fact, he still hadn’t and doubted he ever would. He wasn’t interested in playing with his own ass. Butters, on the other hand, was the textbook definition of a tryhard. The entire evening he had done nothing except please Cartman however he could. Fingering himself in preparation to pleasure the brunette seemed totally in character for him. 

“Mhh, Butters…” Cartman broke off the kiss, panting. “That’s goo-” He was unable to finish as Butters shoved his tongue back into his mouth hungrily. “Mm, wait…” He tried again, this time pushing the blonde’s chest lightly. “I’m read-” No use, at the present, his friend was more akin to a beast ferociously holding onto his prey. “Butte- nnh…” For a third time, his voice was muffled by the virginal lips.

“Hey!” Kyle grumpily yelled, arms crossed. “Didn’t you hear him? He said that’s enough!” He didn’t feel guilty over intervening, especially when Cartman was trying to put a stop to the spit swapping. When the other two turned to gape at him win astoundment, though, he felt a little self-conscious. 

“S-Sorry…” Butters mumbled before unscrewing his arm from under Cartman’s and sliding the fingers from his other hand away with a wet noise. “‘Guess I should…” The tremor had come back to him as he struggled to unbutton his own pants now.

Noticing this, Cartman sat upright and did the job himself, under Butters’ restless stare. “There.” The brunette stated before snucking his hand into the other’s pants. “Let’s see the big boy…” He was smirking but concentrated. “Oh!” His factions contorted into surprise as he pulled the member out.

Well, it sure was erect. And it sure was big. Bigger than Cartman’s obviously and...bigger than Kyle’s for sure. Truly the cherry on top of this continuous nightmare, Kyle noted as his back hit the chair’s. Butters had a stupid fucking big dick. Fantastic. Lovely. Wonderful.

“You’re still hung like a horse.” Cartman commented, eyes glued to the might wiener, not a trace of sarcasm in his tone. 

Blushing furiously, Butters babbled incoherently and gestured with his hands, not a single word he said comprehensible. Kyle was grimacing from second hand embarrassment. 

“Do you want me to, uh…” Cartman asked while his hands hovered the manhood, the question very evident. 

With an abrupt movement, Butters swatted him away, like a mom would to his child wanting to touch the freshly made pie. Kyle frowned and perhaps the blond felt it because he belatedly apologized. “Sorry Eric...I just don’ think I could take it…”

The other blinked before laughing unnecessarily loud. “Damn right you couldn’t!” He agreed with a howl. 

Kyle huffed in irritation. Yeah, his boyfriend might give the best handjobs, however, Butters had no business having knowledge of that. Why the fuck was Cartman’s mouth exactly as big as his ass.

Having calmed down, Cartman settled down on the mattress, spreading his legs wide open. “Come on, then.” He invited Butters. “Do what you came here to do.” The flirtatious inflexion in his voice was driving Kyle nuts despite not being the target of the teasing for once. “You’ve always wanted to, huh?” He continued, grinning. 

Hypnotized by the sight, the spineless boy nodded. “Y-Yes, sir.” He affirmed, almost too serious for the situation. 

Seeing Butters kneel over and hold Cartman’s thighs down, his oversized penis dangling around like some ugly fruit, made Kyle realize he forgot entirely about condoms. He should’ve asked Butters to bring one but he didn’t and presently he couldn’t even lend him one due to the size difference. Fucking Christ. Now his disgusting cum was going to be all over his lover’s asshole. 

“H-Here I go then….!” He announced with a cry.

“Yeah, yeah…” Cartman replied waving dismissively, less interested in what the guy had to say than what he could do. 

Kyle was clasping his hands together so tightly it nearly looked like a desperate prayer. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to see or cover his eyes and before he could decide which, Butters leaned forward, the tip of his dick entering Cartman.

“Does it hurt, Eric?” He inquired with worry. 

The receiver scoffed, one eyebrow raising. “How small do you think Kyle’s dick is?” Not letting him answer, he continued. “Get on with it already.”

The bait was low yet Kyle was sure Butters was simply having a first time panic and did not actually mean to look down on him. Or was he? No, no of course not. This was still Butters. Their wimpy classmate. 

Weirdly inspired by Cartman’s words, Butters seemingly pushed the entirety of his member inside because the former gasped. 

“Oh…” Was the only thing the brunette managed, his brown eyes wide as saucers.

“Here I-” Butters stopped himself mid-sentence, apparently remembering the earlier exchange. “Okay.” He said, more to himself than to the other, exhaling deeply. 

Gently, the blonde began moving at a steady pace, his hands still grabbing onto Cartman’s thighs. His brows were furrowed into a concentrated expression and his breathing was fully as controlled as his movements in what seemed to be an attempt at holding back. The rhythm was practically mechanical. 

“Butters...Butters!” Cartman called him out of his trance. When their eyes met, he scolded the other. “Do you want me to fall asleep? Pick up the speed!”

“Oh, okay!” The boy accepted the feedback with startlement. Kyle smirked smugly. You could take the kid out of the overly religious environment but you couldn’t take the overly religious environment out of the kid. Did he want to fuck under the covers with the lights off, too? 

Almost as if to get back at Kyle’s contemptuous thoughts about him, Butters accelerated his fucking pace, his hips moving twice as fast and his balls slapping Cartman’s buttocks.

“Ha-Harder…! Harder!” Cartman commanded in between moans. “Fuck me like you mean it Butters!” He cried out. 

“Yes, Eric!” Butters exclaimed and his strokes became deeper and harsher.

“Fuck…” The brunette groaned, at last pleased. “That’s it...That’s it...Stab me with your huge cock, bitch!” He vociferated while his body trembled from the movement.

Mortified, Kyle brought his palm to his face, partially covering it. So his boyfriend was at the cringeworthy dirty talk phase. Great. It’s not that he thought it was an exclusive behavior for him and, considering the dick currently up his ass, not a lot better could be expected of his lover, however, it wasn’t in Kyle’s plans for Butters to know about it. Now, he was probably going to think he was doing great when, at best, he was a lousy lay. The last thing he ever needed was for Butters to have an ego boost. For a moment, Kyle considered clarifying his partner’s quirky trait yet decided it was too petty to do so, especially in this situation. It’s not like the idiot would have a chance at fucking him again. 

Butters had moved on to suckle Cartman’s necks and, at the same time, squeezing the fat buttcheeks with his hands. The moans he was making were rather grotesque but Kyle’s boyfriend was too busy getting dicked to notice (or care). Eyelids closed, Cartman’s expression was of pleasure as he whimpered and asked for more. Even if he was being fucked by someone else, seeing and listening to his beloved act like that was undoubtedly stimulating for Kyle. More than everything from before. The whole thing was moments away from finishing and still the redhead couldn’t wait until he could touch Cartman again...and kiss him..and fuck him, making him cry his name in that desperate tone that could be appeased by the thrust of his manhood. If Kyle wasn’t so reserved, he would make Butters stay and watch. Show him how it was done. Show him what he could never attai-

“Butters…” His lover whined, quickly snapping Kyle awake from his reverie. “Butters…” He repeated, this time more high-pitched.

Kyle’s stomach dropped, the uneasiness he had been feeling for days ever since Cartman’s comment about Butters’ wiener making a much less than desired return. 

“Eric…!” Butters exclaimed back, raising his head to gaze at the brunette with feverish passion. A passion that intimidated Kyle, to be honest. Although during the entire evening so far his love for the fat one could be seen in Butters’ eyes, this time it was different. It was burning hot, scorching and ravaging. An intensity Kyle had never thought Butters to be capable of. 

Bringing their foreheads together, Butters spoke again, way softer than one would expect. “Look at me, Eric...” He whispered tenderly.

Eyebrows arched upwards, Cartman opened his eyes, being immediately greeted by the fire staring back at him. The sight took him aback and he was swiftly mesmerised by it. Kyle could tell because, for a second, Cartman seemed to forget he was being fucked. 

“Eric...I love you…” Butters revealed, his voice unwavering for once although, ironically, this would be the moment most justifiable for it to do so. “I’m in love with you…” He admitted, more to himself than to the other and chuckled with relief and happiness. “I’m in love with you, Eric.” The boy smiled and kissed Cartman following his love confession. 

Overwhelmed by the situation yet not helpless, Cartman reciprocated which apparently motivated Butters because the thrusting got stronger and the kissing naughtier. By this point Kyle was sure that not only was Butters’ schlong up his boyfriend’s prostate, but his tongue was hitting the back of his throat, as well. Despite the kissing, the moans only got louder and louder. Their bodies rhythmically bumped against each other, finally synchronized.

Kyle felt a twinge at his heart that he couldn’t quite explain. Was it his lover moaning another guy’s name? Was it the way Cartman had passionately kissed Butters back after the latter’s confession? Was it the way they meshed so well together, with Butters selflessly devoting himself to Cartman who was more than ready to take the attention? Or was it the way Kyle felt like an outsider watching them? 

Most rashly, Kyle got up from the rolling chair and turned, walking towards the door. He ignored his boyfriend’s calls for him and once he reached it, closed it with a slam. In the corridor, he felt like an empty body, a walking ghost. He was eyeing at the stairs when the door opened again. 

“Kyle?” Cartman had stepped out of his room, still buck naked. “Kyle, where are you going?”

“Finish it.” The other absentmindedly replied. “When he comes, it’s over.” He paused. “Or not. Whatever you like.” With that, Kyle began climbing down the stairs, not even bothering to look back. “I’m going home.” He stated flatly. 

“Home?!” His partner repeated the word incredulously. “But we’re about to-”

“I don’t care.” Kyle retorted in what might be the biggest lie of the century. “I can’t keep watching while you lovebirds screw each other. I’ve been humiliated enough for my entire life.“

“You were the one that-”

“I know.” Kyle didn’t let him finish the sentence. He was closer to the first floor than to the second now. “How was I supposed to know you two were perfect for each other? My bad.” For how bad he felt, he was doing a hell of a job at sounding serene. Only a few meters now…

“Kyle…” Cartman giggled nervously. When he received no response, he added. “You know it’s not like that.” 

Of course he was trying to laugh it out. He had been caught red handed. The nerve he had in denying it after what Kyle had freshly witnessed. “Save it.” He declared, one hand on the handle as he turned to give his former nemesis one last look. He wanted to say something yet seeing Cartman standing there all stupid made his chest hurt again. The boy turned back and closed the entrance door as quietly as he could. None of this mess was Liane’s fault after all.


	3. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing too explicit but still some mentions to sex here and there. The focus goes back to Kyman in this chapter.

Try as he might, there’s not a lot Kyle felt like doing after having witnessed that so after showering and slipping into his pajamas, he got into bed. Staring at his phone screen, he kept hoping by some miracle, sleep would come to him at 7 p.m. In the meantime, he rewatched some old _Terrance & Phillip_ episodes and tried not to cringe at the dated humor. It had been years since the show had genuinely made him laugh, regardless, watching it always made him feel some sort of nostalgia. Yes, he might have tried to cancel it when he was a precocious child but that was a long time ago. When he started dating Cartman, a lot of his actions fell into place, his campaign against _Terrance & Phillip_ included. So many stances he had taken, convinced they were the right thing to do, were only a sincere response to his unacknowledged feelings for his childhood friend. That’s not to say Kyle didn’t care about justice and fairness and all that gay shit. He absolutely did. He just happened to be head for heels for the little asshole that opposed him as well. Eric Cartman…

His door opened and someone entered his room. “Kyle?” A voice called him. A voice he’d recognize everywhere. He turned around to glance at its owner. 

Cartman had changed into a new set of clothes, a suede leather jacket over his black sweater and a red scarf wrapped around his neck. His dark jeans weren’t too tight although not too loose either. His hair was still a bit wet and slightly disheveled. In Cartman language, this meant he had left the house in a mild hurry. Kyle went back to look at his phone. 

“What do you want?” He mumbled, mostly hidden by his blanket. 

“Why did you leave like that?” Cartman asked, more anguished than angry despite his boyfriend’s indifference. 

“Why did Butters know I never gave you head?” Kyle shot back.

“What?” The other sounded confused.

“I said. Why did Butters know you never got any?” The redhead grasped his phone tightly the second time he posed the question. 

A silence. Then a sigh. “I told him.” Cartman conceded. 

Kyle expected that, however, hearing it from his lover’s lips didn’t hurt any less. “What else did you tell him?” He inquired, eyes on the wall against his bed.

“I…Everything.” Kyle couldn’t see him, nevertheless, he was willing bet his entire life Cartman was looking down as he uttered the words. 

With his heart on his throat, the boy concluded. “So you’re cheating on me.” With fucking Butters of all people.

“What? No, Kyle-” Kyle heard Cartman’s steps getting closer so he reflexively swatted him away before he even had the chance to touch him. 

Irate green eyes met distressed brown ones. “What the fuck would you tell him everything for, huh?!” The young man yelled. “To humiliate me?! Were you trying to show me how much better than me that goddamn idiot was at fucking you?!” Words were falling out of his lips like a cascade. “Is this one of your sick humiliation fantasies again?! Were you- Were you waiting this whole time to break my pride?!” Now, he was simply saying things as they occurred to him in his head. No holding back.

Hurt by the accusations, Cartman frowned and grabbed Kyle’s wrist, sitting by his side on the bed. “Kyle, stop.” He articulated, grave in his inflection. 

“Let me go!” Kyle screeched, being unpleasantly reminded of Cartman’s immovable iron grip. He might not be the strongest around, nevertheless, it was difficult to get him to physically let go. 

“No.” The brunette opposed.

“Let me…!” Resistance was futile, he would have to cut Cartman’s hand to be free. His body began shaking from powerlessness. “Why did you let him in?” He demanded. “Why would you let anybody in? It was supposed to be the two of us! Just...Just us…No one else...” Oh, this was bad. His voice was starting to break and his vision was getting foggy. “You’re a stupid asshole…” He muttered weakly, gaze landing on his light blue blanket. 

“Listen to me, I never cheated on you.” Cartman was stern in his statement. “I told Butters everything, yes, because guess what? I love bragging about us, okay? How was I supposed to know that he was-”

“By having a pair of eyes, you fucking moron!” Kyle retaliated, struggling again with the hand on his wrist. “Only a fucking idiot wouldn’t realize!” He persisted.

“Well I’m a fucking idiot then! Because my two eyes are only for you!” Cartman exclaimed annoyedly and let Kyle go. “When I’m not with you I love talking about you and when I’m with you I only pay attention to you! Fucking sue me for being a gaywad, I don’t care!” He raised his hands and shrugged. “I’m fucking gay for you, okay!” 

He had to hand it to Cartman. He was a fucking idiot indeed. What kind of half-assed apology was that? Did it count as an apology, actually? “So you never cheated on me, then.” Kyle attempted to confirm after a pause.

“No, Kyle, Jesus Christ! I already have the craziest, feistiest ginger in the entire world! Why would I settle for anything else?” Cartman seemed offended to have to be asked that at all. “I’m very proud of my taste. I can tell you that much.”

They stayed quiet for a while. 

“I was also into it because _you_ were watching.” The brunette talked again. He was smiling sadly. “You never told me what to do or how to act, Kyle. I thought I was supposed to go with the flow. I didn’t think you’d go and assume I was in love with Butters…” Slowly, he shook his head. “You really have a vivid imagination.” 

Wiping his tears, Kyle corrected him. “I didn’t think you were in love with Butters but that…”

“You were wrong anyway.” Cartman affirmed. “The only way I’d cheat on you is if you had a twin or something. And even then.” He grinned and reached for Kyle’s cheek, the closeness making the latter notice his eyes were misty too. “I only have one little monster.” 

The old nickname made Kyle’s chest swole with fondness. “I’m sorry.” He apologized. “I threw you in a ridiculous situation without explaining and then blamed you. That was unfair of me, I’m sorry.”  
Cartman chuckled. “That’s okay. You wouldn’t be Kyle if you weren’t insane.” He leaned closer. “That’s what I love about you.” He murmured affectionately and kissed his boyfriend. 

It was tender and loving, with the both of them holding each other’s face. Kyle was surprised by how faraway the last time they kissed felt. And apparently the feeling was mutual because the kiss lingered and, when it seemed to be reaching its final stretch, Cartman opened his mouth wider and his tongue invaded Kyle’s, the accompanying moan reminding Kyle how badly he had it for the little prick. Instinctively, he pinned Cartman down and laid on top of him. 

Pulling away, he huffed. “We were having a moment!” The redhead complained.

“Yeah and you’ve been wanting to fuck me since earlier so don’t pretend otherwise.” Cartman smirked under Kyle. “I could feel your alpha pheromones all across the room, Kyle. I seriously thought you were gonna jump Butters at some point.” He nodded to himself. “That would’ve been hot.”

“You’re fucking disgusting, did you know that?” Kyle countered, trying not to smile.

“Yeah and you love that, you sick little freak.” His lover asserted. “Now take me, stud.”

Snickering, Kyle thought the words ‘Shut up’ before kissing him again. 

___________________________________________________________________________

Kyle watched his beloved’s huge chest rise and fall, at the same pace than this. It was silly yet it always made him feel good when their breathings were coordinated after making love. As if they were the same entity. 

“That was risky.” He commented while watching the door. 

“I locked the door like you told me.” Cartman spoke between puffs of air. “Also, who the hell would come to your room on a Friday night?!”

Fair point. Long gone were the days where his mother would check out on him constantly. And his father was a distant moron as usual. And Ike, well, he was growing up. He currently had better things to do than bother his older brother. Not that Kyle would have minded otherwise.

“Was I better than…” Kyle realized too late that he had thought out loud. “Uh…”

The brunette scoffed. “Honey, even if you fell asleep mid-boning, you would still be better.” He reassured him. “This time, however, you were like a goddamn beast. It’s almost like you need to see me being fucked by someone else more-” Cartman wasn’t able to finish his joke because Kyle threw a pillow at his face. 

“Not in a million years.” Kyle asseverated. “You’ll have to be satisfied with my average dick.”

Cartman raised his eyebrow, skeptically. “Are you humble bragging? You know you could never be average.”

He didn’t know that, in fact. There was a more important matter at hand, though. “So how was…” His eyes wandered.

Lying on his left side to look at his boyfriend, Cartman quizzed. “Butters? Well, he finished not too long after you left. And, uh…” He grimaced, unsure of how to continue.

“Yeah?” Once again, Kyle’s stomach was tied into a knot.

“Well...He cried.” The other revealed.

That was most definitely not what he expected. Although, he wasn’t sure what he expected either. “What?” 

“Yeah…” Cartman scratched his hair, uncomfortable. “He said he was sorry because he didn’t want to upset you or cause any trouble between us...but also that he didn’t regret any of it. In Butters’ speech, it was an ‘odd situation’.” The guy detailed, air quoting. 

Kyle scowled. Of course he wouldn’t regret it. That much was obvious. “Guess I have to apologize to him too.” He accepted. “What else did he say?”

“Hmm…” His partner contemplated the ceiling. “He promised not to get in our way again...he wants to remain my friend, though.” He pursed his lips subtly.

Sighing, Kyle looked up as well. “I expected that.” 

Out the corner of his eyes, he spotted Cartman opening and closing his mouth several times. Peaceful, he closed his eyelids.

“Kyle...if you want…”

“Hmm?” Kyle hummed, eyes still shut.

“If you want I can tell him...to stop being friends...if that makes you feel safe…” Cartman’s voice was unsteady yet resolute.

“You would do that for me?” The host asked, tapping his feet rhythmically to a non-existent song. 

“Of course…” Cartman trailed off.

“I’m flattered.” After a halt, Kyle continued, eyelids opening back up. “Though that won’t be necessary.” He looked askance at his worried lover. 

“It won’t?” The brunette tilted his head. 

Kyle turned to him, a gentle smile on his lips. “You don’t want to do that, do you?”

Awkwardly, Cartman averted his gaze. “It must sound stupid to you, I was so shitty to him when we were kids but…” He chuckled softly. “I guess I do care about him. He’s kind of my best friend.” He stared at Kyle, simpering in embarrassment. “Lame, right?”

“Not at all.” The other warmly replied. “That’s sweet. I won’t get in the way of your friendships.” He caressed Cartman’s right cheek. “But you need to tone it down with the details.”

Cartman nodded cheerfully. “I will.” He raised a hand to his chest. “No more details about your red sausage!” He promised.

If he had to be honest, Kyle wasn’t too on board with the idea of Cartman and Butters remaining close. Especially not after what had recently transpired. However, he didn’t want to be the domineering, toxic boyfriend that isolated his darling from the rest of his loved ones. More importantly, though, he trusted Cartman. So even if he wasn’t exactly thrilled with their friendship, he had nothing to worry about. 

And that’s all that mattered. 

___________________________________________________________________________

Butters did keep his word and stopped attempting to tag along with the couple, being respectful of their time together. He hung with Cartman separately or when Stan and Kenny were also around. Kyle noted as well that Butters greeted him like some kind of authority, tensing up a little when he approached Cartman and him. The redhead couldn’t say he was a fan of the fear he had instilled in the other, nevertheless, it was miles away better than having the guy butt in between them with excessive confidence. Or borderline flirt with his boyfriend in front of him. Oh yeah, he kept his alcohol in check nowadays, too. No more invasive displays of affection to Cartman.

On the bright side, having Butters around came in handy for Kyle. Whenever he was busy with exams or projects, he could always send off Cartman to him to play or whatever the hell those two did. It was like having a free babysitter that was available at all times. Pretty useful. 

Nonetheless, there was no doubt in Kyle’s mind that Butters still had it bad for his man. The stolen glances, the rosy cheeks over the most innocuous of commentaries, the adoring expressions he tried so hard to hide...It was like Butters had made it his goal not to be a hindrance to the lovers, yet had forgotten to move on, too. He was only better at keeping it at bay at the moment. 

Not that that was Kyle’s problem. Or Cartman’s. He knew better than anyone that his partner would never do anything to purposefully charm the meek kid. Butters was simply a lost cause. Despite sharing affection for the same person, Kyle could hardly say he understood him. In general, Butters was one of the most confusing people he knew, down to the way he proceeded about romantic feelings. He was grateful the blond had respected their agreement except that had it been him, he would have fought with nail and teeth for the fat ass. Maybe that was the difference between them, Kyle was active and aggressive while Butters was passive and accepting at most. 

“Boo, are you gonna eat that nugget? ‘Cause you keep looking at it and pinching it.” Cartman suddenly inquired, observing the mistreated piece of chicken. 

Kyle looked down. “Oh. No, you have it.” He pinched it one last time and pointed at the brunette with his fork.

“Yay!” The other cheered and bit it whole. “Man, these fuckin’ nuggets kept getting better. What are they putting in them?” He wondered with his mouth full. 

“Probably a bunch of artificial flavoring.” Kyle shrugged in disinterest.

“They better keep it comin’, then!” Cartman snapped back and swallowed. “Say, Kyle, I have an idea.” He casually wrapped his arm around the other’s neck as he talked. 

When had that gesture ever meant anything good? “What is it.” Kyle asked only halfway listening.

“Well, you know it’s been a while since Butters and I…” He motioned with his hands quickly, as if trying to skip the bad part. “You know. So I was thinking.” Cartman settled in his seat while the necessary pause for dramatic effect took place. “What if we finally had a threesome?”

Kyle stayed silent, however, his lover wasn’t deterred. 

“Think about it. You, me, Butters. You’ve seen what he can do…” He hugged Kyle’s neck closer. “It would be fun, come on!” Cartman insisted, his face invading his boyfriend’s field of view. 

For some reason, the usage of the word fun cracked Kyle up. Fun? Couldn’t be more far away from his reality. Nothing about being naked in the proximity of Butters was anywhere near appealing. Let alone the idea of having him touch Cartman a second time. The dissonance between his logic and Cartman’s was exhilarating, though, he concluded as a sincere laughter erupted from his body. 

“Yeah, right?” His partner mistakenly interpreted Kyle’s amusement with agreement. “Should we do it then?”

Whilst laughing, Kyle turned to peer for a few seconds into the brown eyes he adored more than his self preservation instincts before giving his answer. “No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Got the idea from a bl my girlfriend was reading so decided to adapt it to my favorite messy trio.


End file.
